We often hear about women having trouble with orgasms, and generally with men it’s thought that they have the opposite problem, that they come too quickly. So, when a man has trouble coming, or can’t come at all, he might feel that there’s something wrong with him. He can feel very alone.
But it’s actually very common for men not to come. It’s called Retarded or Delayed Ejaculation, and most men will encounter it at least sporadically in their lives. If it’s happening repeatedly though, it can be a problem. Particularly if the woman thinks it’s because he’s not attracted to her, or if they want to conceive.
The cause is generally stress-related, and the situation gets worse when it causes Performance Anxiety, which exacerbates the inability to come in some men, and in other men can lead to losing erection or even coming too quickly. To make matters worse, if there’s additional anxiety caused by the partner’s negative response, then that creates a negative feedback loop, and the man ends up with anxiety about having Performance anxiety - Performance Anxiety Anxiety!
Not a good thing.
The thing is though, sex is not about orgasm. Too many people think that sex is all about orgasm, that sex is something you do to another person so that... read more